What is Truth

What is truth? I have discovered that I'm not the first person to ask this question. I have also discovered that any number of people you ask will have any number of answers to this question. In John 18 Pilate himself asked the question of Jesus. But, I don't believe he really wanted to know the answer. 2 Thessalonians 2:9-13 states, "The coming of the lawless one will be in accordance with the work of Satan displayed in all kinds of counterfeit miracles, signs and wonders, and in every sort of evil that deceives those who are perishing. They perish because they refused to love the truth and so be saved..." The question was put to me, "Why was Jesus born?" Jesus stated the answer himself in John 18:37. He said, "... For this reason I was born, and for this I came into the world, to testify to the truth." At this point I can only conclude the truth is reality through the eyes of the only perfect man that ever walked this earth-Jesus Christ. I must assume that because Christ came to testify to the truth it must be very important to him. I recommend Focus on the Families Truth Project to everyone who is a seeker and lover of the truth.

Life Teaches

Life is like a roller coaster. Your apprehension climbs as you ride to the top of your world. And then, although you can see it coming - the momentum is to great to allow you to prevent the fall. Your heart is in your throat as you plummet toward the ground and just when you feel you'll burst, your headed back toward the sky and another glorious peak. It is for this reason I ask, would we diminish the peaks by illuminating the valleys? I enjoy my alone quite days of reflections. But, would I enjoy them if that was all I had. It is the struggles that give our lives meaning. The tears that make the laughter so rewarding. The loneliness that reveals the need for others. We gain strength and wisdom through the effort of living our lives. And if we choose to see it as such, these lessons can be their own reward.

Oh Mother,

My mother called me today. She is 82 years old and has had several strokes. She is fearful of her death. I'm fearful of her death. What will I do when I don't have my Mommy anymore? We talked about how she prays every day to be permitted to live until she is 112 years old. I don't know why she has picked that age. Perhaps it has something to do with my great grandmother who lived to be 104. We thought it was 116 at first but an old family bible finally confirmed her age at 104. Mom told me she had seen an angle the other night and the angle was caring something (she didn't know what) to God. She said the angle walked right beside her. I can comfort her until I'm blue in the face but, I think if someone told me that I was going to die soon, I'd be afraid. I don't know why we cling to a life and world with so much pain attached to it. As I remind myself of the promises found in the Bible I know that it will be great when we cross over to our true home. Peace, love, no war, no fear, or hate. We'll be home, our true home. This world is not our home. We are visitors here. We live within while remaining apart from this world. I find myself looking at Hebrews 10:23 which says, "And let us hold unwaveringly to the hope that we confess, for the one who made the promise is trustworthy." Is my faith all talk or do I believe it. When we confess our sins and ask forgiveness I know we are forgiven. But, if we don't really believe-how can we except that forgiveness. And if we don't except it then we cannot have it. I don't want to be like the lion in the Wizard of Oz. "I do believe, I do, I do, I do..." I want to believe, to know to the deepest depths of my soul. I believe that I do believe and there is no fear here. I believe what I feel is regret at leaving my loved ones and the familiar behind. But, If Christ were to appeared in front of me today and offered to let me go home right at that moment-I know that I would go. No fear here.

Family

It's nothing new but my little family is in turmoil again. I use to try to manage things and sometime I did pretty well. I learned to be a caregiver in my father house many years ago and continued the practice into adulthood. Now, my children are older and although I can no longer control them they often still expect me to fix their problem. They don't listen to my advise while their making the mistakes. Turning to me once they have created a mountain that I can't clime and becoming angry and hurt because they think I'm not trying when I can't. I have over cared my children to death. I sometimes think I have three children in adult bodies. I am finally trying to cute the apron strings and everything is falling apart. I honestly don't know what to do half the time. Where should I draw the line? I've heard it said it's always darkest before the dawn. I hope that's true. I look at my little grandson who I've raised and think of as my son. I don't want to mess this up again. I have to learn from the past. I have to figure this out.

Food for Thought

I wanted to have something to ponder while I work on the exercise I gave myself today. This is what I found:
Ephesians
4:29 You must let no unwholesome word come out of your mouth, but only what is beneficial for the building up of the one in need,that it may give grace to those who hear.
4:30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.
4:31 You must put away every kind of bitterness, anger, wrath, quarreling, and evil, slanderous talk.
4:32 Instead, be kind to one another, compassionate, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ also forgave you.

Todays Mission

I have decided that no matter what I'm going to stay positive. I will not think negative thoughts. I will not let negative words come out of my mouth. I will look for the good in every person and every situation. I think this will be a good exercise for me and if nothing else - it should prove interesting. See ya on the other side of today.

No Job, Family Good, Moving Forward

I am soooooo cool now. I am Blogging and Twitting. (Twitter / KathyAnnSummers) Well, the job I thought I would get, I didn't. But, I know that only means that something better is coming my way. Well, that is all ways something going on with my little family. My eldest son and his wife are struggling but I have every faith that they will be able to make it through this rough patch and make their marriage work. Not much new happening with my daughter. She is working a lot of hours and is preparing to put her youngest in pre-school. My youngest son was not well for awhile but he appears to be doing better now. All of the grandchildren are growing like weeds. It's great to have them back in school again. YEAH! I submitted my first article and I can't wait to hear back. You don't move until you step out.

Stepping Out In Faith

I remember when I was fearless. I was ready to do battle at the first sign of trouble. I didn't worry about what price I would pay for jumping without thinking. But after crashing on the rocks at the bottom of a few cliffs I've become very afraid of jumping. There was a time when there was little that I wouldn't do for my family and friends. It didn't matter if anyone ever reciprocated. I find it harder and harder to step out to help anyone including my own children. I want to trust in Christ. I want to trust in my family and friends. I want to be that fearless girl that I was so long ago. But, although I hate that feeling of quiet terror that sits in the pit of my stomack I'm going to try. I'm going to step out in faith that this is a lesson I need to learn. I'll just pretend that I'm okay while I pray for the faith I need. I want to be a person that I respect no matter what others think or how they act. I have to stop saying if this would happen than I could do that. Or, if they would not do that, I could do this. I have to be what I'm going to be no matter what the world is doing. Because altimately who I am is between me and God. And, noone knows how much time we have to bloom into a the princess, child of the King we were intended to be.

The Job

I had a second interview with Sears Loss Prevention on Friday. I think I have the job but who knows. I haven't interviewed for a job outside of the Department of Corrections for about 22 years. What do I know about how interviews go. I thought that the manager was impressed but I guess I'll see about that soon enough. He said he would call me Monday or Tuesday. I'm both nervous and excited about going to work in the real world again. It will be weird not being the boss though... I think it's got to be less stressful.

Starting The Journey Of my Life

I retired on December 30, 2008 from state service. I loved my job for a long time but the presurefutility of it all just became more than I wanted to deal with. I joined the department of Corrections when I had small children and needed some way to support them. I don't regret that decision but now my children have grown up. I am raising a grandchild who just turned eleven but I believe that it's time to find out who I am. It's been eight months since my retirement and I'm going back to work "Some place." I don't know what I want to be when I grow up. I don't know if I need to pick one thing or can I do several things that I have dreamed? I'm working on two books right now, meaning I am writing. That means I'm working on that dream. But, I want to be more. I want to become the open, loving, person I started out to be before the weight of this world began to harden my heart. I want my excitement for life back. I want to know who awe feels again. I want to become everything that I have the potential to be and find out who I grew up to be.

Julie & Julia

My friend MA took me out for burgers and a movie tonight. We watched Julie and Julia. I thought it was a good movie. I was sad to see that the two never met. I think the ladies had a lot in common. MA thought it was okay but wasn't really impressed. I enjoy spending time with MA. Unlike Julie in Julie and Julia I not only met the person I most respect, I get to spend time with him often. He is such a strait forward person. I trust him above all others. MA has just started making time to date. I think its about time he put himself and his happiness first. He is such a hard worker that if he let himself he would always find one more thing to do at his job, for his family and friends, or for our townhouses HOA. He is the president of the HOA. I will miss our closeness when he finally finds his special one but I will be so happy for him. She will be one Lucky girl too. Goodnight all...

Avons Calling

I thought I would give this a try so if you need avon please let me know. I like the stuff. I like being an e-rep because I'm not a salesman but Avon is a time tested product. I thought I would get some of my Christmas gift through Avon too.

Going Back Work

Ok- I thought retirment would be more fun than it really is... Well, actually it is fun but the baby setting and other chores that I'm expected to do now is not so fun. I've put in several applications and resumes but have only gotten one interview so far. As a matter of fact today was the second interview. I think I've got the job but won't know for sure until Monday or Tuesday of next week. It's not really what I was going for but its a job and I'll be good at it.

Bloody Vampire Books

I'm reading Promise by Richelle Mead. I loved reading Shadow Kiss and Frostbit the first two books in this series. She has created a world that is exciting and sometimes sad. The characters are almost touchable. The St. Vladmirs Academy has it's share of clicks, preps, and wall flowers. I love following her heroin Rose as she is searching for her lost love Dimitri. I know its suppose to be a teen book but I guess I'll never grow up when it comes to my bloody vampire books. Well, I'm downloading a new version update of Norton and so I thought I might as well blog a little. But, I think its almost done and I really want to get back to it. Good night!